Relationships are like your own personal garden. What’s growing in yours?
I remember going on a friend-date and having that tingling feeling of meeting a potential new friend. We met at my favorite cafe; I was sitting in the sun with a coffee in hand, waiting for her to show up. As soon as she arrived, wearing a long kimono in light blue colors with yellow sun prints, I felt a wave of joy fill my body. We shared a hug when we introduced ourselves, and if you’re a hugger like me, you know how it feels when someone matches your energy. We sat down and talked while sipping our cappuccinos in the autumn sun. I clearly remember that after 30 minutes, I had this urge to express the feeling I had, so I went for it and said, “I feel so much love here in our presence,” and she replied, “Me too.” We laughed and hugged as if we had always been friends. In that moment, I told her about my view on friendship and relationships, how it feels like a garden. Here’s what it means to me:
There's something magical about a garden. How the soil holds memory and nourishment, how sunlight brings warmth, and how each plant grows in its own time, in its own way. Some relationships are wild and blooming, others grow slowly. But all of them, the friends, the romantic relationships, the family we choose, and the wild flowers that find us, they are seeds we plant, nurture, and harvest during different seasons in our lives.
Some people are like berries; they are sweet, vibrant, and joyful. You don’t need much from them to feel nourished. Moments with them feel like sunshine on your face, laughter in unexpected moments, a spontaneous road trip just because. They have a way of making you feel lighter and a little sweeter inside.
Others are more like root vegetables, grounding, deep, and sometimes hidden beneath the surface. These are friendships that might not demand attention every day, but when you dig deep, they are rich in history, support, and love. They hold you steady when your world feels like it’s crumbling.
Then there are the spicy chilies; they are bold, intense, and unforgettable. They challenge you and make you feel alive. You don’t always need them every day, but when they’re there, you know it. These relationships ignite something within you, and even if they don’t last forever, they leave a trace.
Some people are like herbs, subtle, always there in the background, adding a quiet depth to your life’s buffet. These are the ones you call when you don’t know what you need, and somehow, just being with them helps. They are the late-night texts, the “thinking of you” messages, the ones who can bring calm to your chaos.
And then there are those who feel like trees. I love trees. Trees take time to grow, but when they do, they offer shade, strength, and a place to rest. These are often lifelong friendships or relationships built over years of trust, vulnerability, and shared seasons. You don’t rush with a tree; you grow with it.
The truth is, not all plants bloom at the same time. Some friendships grow fast and then wither. Others take root slowly but last for decades. Some people are perennials, always returning, season after season, and some are annuals, beautiful but short-lived, and that’s all okay. A garden doesn’t need only one type of plant to thrive. It needs diversity of texture, color, scent, and rhythm. So does your life! And we all have moments when weeds take over, toxic relationships, jobs, and friendships, that drain more than they give. It’s okay to pull them up. It’s not failure; it’s self-care. Both for your garden and yourself. We need space to grow, and not everything is meant to stay. And perhaps most importantly, YOU are also a plant in someone else’s garden. What you give, how you behave, how you care for others, matters. You are a part of their growth, just as they are a part of yours.
So, take care of your relationships as you would care for a garden. With patience, with care, and with time. Be grateful for the wild flowers and be mindful to water those that matter most. We all grow differently, beautifully, imperfectly. And YOUR garden is better because of it. So pay attention to which seeds you long for and remember that composting is nourishment.
// Rebecca